running

i used to have nightmares about being chased. this went on for years before i realized that there was a common theme. then they finally subsided. the work i started about 3 years ago now, the work i am still pursuing with these ink on paper drawings, has come from my personal challenges. therefore, instead of running, my work suggests a static point of view, a place of rest and quietude in an environment of mystery and potential destruction.

better images of new work

the struggle to find peace in a threatening world

no definition, from my journal

Defining myself, limiting myself. I've done this sometimes -- a lot of times -- to try and understand myself. But it usually has nothing to do with me. Nature is mysterious. My work is also an exploration of my nature. Always been so self-reflective. This work conveys my fears and my love: fear of the unknown, love of losing myself in a world of my making within the picture plane. Never felt more free. Ironically, I've never been tighter in my work -- well, "tight" is not really the right word. More like I just really get into making the image, so I consider every millimeter of its surface. I feel like I'm leaving other people's voices when I work on these (I don't feel this way all the time). I'm left alone to do my own thing. Worry sometimes that people won't appreciate them. It's hard to know if what I do will be appreciated when I've gone off and done my own thing. But it's not like I'm working outside the conventions of common language. Ironic here too, because if anything, this work is more conventional. There's a clear attempt to describe spatial depth and the presence of light. I don't feel like I have to alienate myself. This is interesting because I think much of what I've done throughout my life, not just in art, was driven by a sad need to alienate myself from others. This work is my attempt to be at peace in an unpredictable world. Life is not about my personal survival. That's extremely precarious. Everyone dies, sometimes tragically, sometimes before they get the chance to experience living. Yet life goes on.

people are ridiculous...and a new piece

"furrow" above....

and as i was flipping through this year's "best of" artforum, it occurred to me that i'll never be able to read all of it, even if i wanted to. it's nothing new, i never read all of the articles. in fact, i'm usually lucky if i do more than look at the pictures. and then i realized that this is just one magazine, just one monthly issue, in a universe of written material that i will never, ever touch.

you can't do everything.

Untitled

Apparently poor webcam images of recent work WILL be posted. I have been active making art, I promise. This one was a fight. Fights can be useful. They may not yield successes, but they can be useful. This is a diptych, and because it is from a webcam, it is a mirror-image of the original.

I'm also beginning a lithography tutorial at the Kala Institute in Berkeley, which I'm very excited about. I'm hoping it will help me to develop my work, make connections, and open up local exhibition opportunities.

changes afoot (but how could it be otherwise?)

poor webcam pics of latest efforts will not be posted. plus all latest efforts are unresolved. light is essential.

killing time

the reflections from my last several posts may have offered some fairly obvious conclusions, but i feel that they are relevant to my work. this notion of 'purpose' has preoccupied my thinking for over a year. all of my thinking on the subject has led me to make light more of an issue in my work. The drawings that succeed seem to allow light to have a strong presence. i've been working on these drawings long enough now to know that the light is redemptive, somehow.